Have you ever came across that “one dude” at the gym that gets joy out of banging or dropping the weights as loud as he can, then poses for himself in the mirror? I get a kick out of these guys.

Shut it down, Bruno! This isn’t a crossfit gym. If you want to throw weights around, go there. It’s expected. When we all look at you, it’s not because we’re admiring you, it’s because we’re wondering what zoo you’re from. We’re wondering how many of these weight you are going to leave lying around for everyone to step over or put away so we can use the bench. We get it! You want us to think you’re tough.

There’s plenty of members that can lift twice as much as you, but are secure enough not to make such a racket. They also pick up after themselves. They take their towel with them, their water cup and put the weights away.

With that vented, here is a list of gymetiquettes.


1. Keep your grunting at a dignified level. I shouldn’t have to hear you downstairs on the treadmill.

2. Put your damn weights away. If you can lift it, you can put it away.

3. Take all your garbage with you. We shouldn’t have to kick around your water cup or your bodybuilding energy bottles.  I say you can use less energy.

4. No banging or dropping weights. It’s not impressive! All you do is damage shit and make everyone’s membership dues go up.

5. If I’m wearing my ear buds, leave me the hell alone. I’m busy! I don’t have much time to workout, let alone come here and chitchat. I for sure don’t want to be associated with you and NO, I can’t spot that kind of weight.

6. Don’t just sit at the machine for five minutes in between sets. Nobody wants to watch you pick at the zits on your arm for five minutes while we wait for you to finish up.

That’s it. 6 simple rules. Ya dig?