Yoga Farts

Over the last few days, I’ve been taking it easy in preparation for my upcoming race. I call it resting, others call it tapering just to make it sound cooler than it really is.  It’s a sprint, what are we tapering down to? Rest and eat, rest and eat! Save the tapering for the big races.

Anyway, during my “tapering time”, I like to incorporate some yoga for relaxation, balance and stretching. I want to tell you a funny story that happened tonight in class. But before I do, I want to tell you this. The class is always full of women, so I’m assuming that’s why they keep the studio hotter than balls. It’s stuffy and I sweat like a pig. Someone told me it might be a hot yoga class. I wasn’t smart enough to ask what that was. Sounds kinky, so I thought they were pulling my leg. Whatever!

So now the story. We were doing some position that had my face closer to my crack than I’m more comfortable with. It caused a little pressure in the belly region, but I pushed through the discomfort.

Whatever the hell this is called…

Yoga

Yeah, that.

Well, the lady next to me couldn’t handle the pressure…I guess. She FARTS and we’re all in the same position with our faces near our cracks. At first , I was like…

imagesCAF5M6X1

Then I was like…

Oh No you didn't

She doesn’t apologize or fall out of position…we just get an innocent, “whoopsy”. I had to fall out of position because I was laughing inside, which quickly morphed into an outright laugh when I noticed that everybody acted like it didn’t happen. Am I wrong for laughing?

Now, back to the stuffy heat in this room. Have you ever been in a hot car when someone locks the windows and farts?  Yes, it was like that. I’m guessing every guy that’s been through college knows what I’m talking about. Funniest part is that if you’ve ever taken a yoga class, you know you’re supposed to take deep breaths and not to hold it. It was a very unpleasant feeling to say the least. I’m still laughing as I write this story.

I’m guessing that lady won’t be back to class for awhile. And about this yoga vs hot yoga, is there a difference?

Hope you enjoyed!

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Free Speed

Well, first race of the year under my belt. Would have been my second race, but the first one got postponed due to snow. Looks like the race I have this weekend may end up with the same fate. It’s May 1st and the Hawkeye state is still getting snow. Unreal!

 Forecast

Yes, that’s our forecast. Boo! The positive side is that I’ve never seen snow in May before. So, now I have a story to tell my grandkids, just like my Grandparents told me.

Anyway, back to the race. I was fortunate enough to acquire a few things in the off-season  thanks to Trisports.com. Their website is the easiest site to navigate! I highly recommend them.

First bit of gear I would like to talk about is my new 2XU Compression Tri Suit. Now, I got this suit a couple months before my first race. I was dying to use it. I bet I put it on 5-6 times and ran a few laps through the house looking at every mirror I went by. I looked fast and nobody could tell me any different. It was agony not being able to race in it right away. As much as I wanted to race in it, I knew better not to use it for the first time during a race, so I tested it out in the pool. First thing I noticed was that the shock from the cold water didn’t hit me as hard. Second thing, and most important was that my swim time decreased by 25 seconds in the 300m swim. I couldn’t believe it…free speed. This suit is fast, stylish and comfortable. I can’t wait to use this during the longer swims.

I also picked up a 2006 Quintana Roo tri bike. It was used, but new to me. It was in immaculate condition. Not a thing rattled or squeaked on it. I rode it the first night I picked it up and again, I couldn’t believe it. I gained an average of 2.6 MPG at a distance of 15 miles. That’s a huge chunk of time saved and an eternity in a sprint triathlon. I am sold on these bikes.

 Brookings Bike

If I had the $$, I would buy a new Quintana Roo with their latest technology without question. Illicito!!

One more thing, I am happy to say that with this bike, I had the fastest bike split in my first race of the year. You might be saying, big deal! Well, last year I was in the middle of the pack in bike splits. I never, ever thought I would even come close to the quickest bike split. Now I’m hoping I can build off that momentum the rest of the season.

Hope to write more good news soon.